Wednesday, February 20, 2013

This Trepid Traveler



Master Indy has agreed that slave should post these. They are notes on the journey it is making. Looks like its going to be a tough trip.

One of slave's New Years Eve Resolutions was: #2013resolution After half of a century finally out growing the defense mechanism of smoking.

“Quitting is easy, I've done it a million times!”

For a couple of months slave has been “cutting back”. It has honestly gone from a usual of 40 cigarettes a day (2 packs) to 10 a day (½ pack) However in times of stress – well that's another story. For example:
On the day before Valentines, slave found out that the florist had screwed up and was only going to deliver half the order while charging 50% MORE! Can you say panic? This was followed by four calls, through the stupidest cyber-jails – is there anything more frustrating? Then emails confirming and threatening and a lot of finger-crossing. Fortunately it turned out OK so far.

What slave's point was while that was going on it suddenly noticed the ash tray was filled and a second pack was half empty. All UN-noticed! This was not because smoking was enjoyable. It was like the whole process was happening behind my back.

I can't get in to see my medical doctor for a month and a half. I was going to ask for some of those miracle pills advertised on TV. The ones that make quitting so easy.

“It ain't easy doing something that is worth doing.”

Master will NOT be disappointed in this. Slave has made the commitment. The local LGBT Center has a grant to help people stop smoking so slave signed up. The first meeting with the counselor was last night. Very helpful, and I learned several tricks to help.

Master knows how hard this is going to be and is so very supportive. I confessed my fear of losing such a big part of my identity. He had me make a sign that hangs over my computer right now.

"Don't fear this, embrace smoking being over
"Any struggle is worth it to please Me.”
"Focus on this being the ONLY thing I will allow you to quit!” :-)

He had me set up two jars. In one, I put a dollar for everyday I go without a cigarette. The other is for a dollar per every cigarette I do smoke. 

 

So slave shares this with you as a way of serving. 23 hours without a smoke. It has worn a patch all day. Frankly so far the only, (maybe 12 times), I've reached for a pack, I have been able to stop and think: OK, not going to do that. Don't think that this will be so easy, it may be the toughest thing that I do this year.

When it gets overpowering, I have closed my eyes and forced myself to relax. I've slowed my breathing and relied on my trust in my Master. He understands. He knows. Slave will not disappoint Him or slave, itself.

It is hoped that you, slave's readers also understand and will mentally support this one in its journey.

Thank You all

socialslave

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